An Internal Struggle

I have had an internal struggle the last 8 weeks. It really has been a nightmare for me. I feel that I have been pulled in every direction. My heart feels like it has been pulled out of my body. There has been bleeding and I have asked for it to stop.

The bleeding has stopped today. The struggle is over.

I have given up the rope. I am not going to be pulled by it anymore. Today, we release the pressure and we take a step forward and begin a new chapter in our lives.

We as a family will be strong and we has a family are going to go and get my wife healthy. She is a strong fighter. She is going to “beat” this. Soon, she will be in “remission” and we will have our lives together.

Thank God for medicine that is going to give us a chance and thank-you God for providing a way for her medication and treatment to be recovered.

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~ by jeffgreathouse on May 27, 2007.

4 Responses to “An Internal Struggle”

  1. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I wonder if God is sorry too. But I am glad you’ve found a way for helping Stacey. And I’m glad you love her so well. In my book, you rock. I respect you as a youth pastor, as my best friend’s husband, as the Gang’s daddy, and as a fellow journeyman. You’ve shown more grace, more self-control, and more character than I even want to show in all of this. Thank you for being an example.

  2. Heya Jeff.

    I posted in the forum about this, but wanted to make sure that you saw it, so I’m double posting.

    I’ve been thinking about you and Stacy a lot lately. In the last week … I’ve spent too many hours in a hospital waiting room, next to my husbands hospital bed … just sitting there, helpless, prayerful (not to be confused with each other by any means) scared, and hopeful, and any other imaginable emotion that a wife can have for her husband.

    As Those emotions have run through me, I’ve glanced up more than once and thought … Jeff, is going through this too, with stacey. Lord, touch them both now. Hold all 4 of us, in your hand. Keep us close to your heart.

    Thinking of you … praying for you.

    Hugs and prayers, brother dear.

  3. Inkling:

    I am sure God is sorry and I am sure He is crying along with us. I do not believe it was or is in His plan for us to struggle. He is with us in this painful place and He is the one who has provided provision for us to get health insurance.

    Dreaming Again:

    Thanks for the continual prayer, support and words that you have shared with me. It has been greatly appreciative.

  4. That “church” is obviously not where you’re supposed to be. A true Church (led by their leaders as well as by their SPRC) would have treated its own a whole lot better than they treated you.

    They will know we are Christians by our love? Or by our church politics? I’m too angry to say much (if anything) positive, but I’m praying that God opens another opportunity that blows you away.

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